My friend Timothy unleashed the Pandora's box of creativity on a night when all finals were completed...each line was built upon the other by a different person, most of which became a dialogue between Brigitte and I. This is what happens when one has too much theological education.
Hope you enjoy!
Twas the last Wednesday before Christmas and all through the church, everybody came to a start with a lurch
...the hymns were chosen and well prepared, even the potluck was ready to be shared...
The decorations were hung around the altar with care, anticipation of Christ's birth was in the air.
As soon as the pastor was practicing the sermon, there were doubts all around that it wasn't in German
"What will we do?" asked the choir with fear... Pastor said, "Leave it to me and go have a beer."
When what to our wondering eyes should appear! two plates of cookies, mixed nuts, and some beer!
We gobbled them up and drank them all down, not even the curmudgeons were faced with a frown
When out came Santa with a stern look on his face, and said "why is there a mess all over this place?!"
"I came here looking for cookies but indeed have found none, if you want presents for Christmas to the church basement you must run."
And down through the heavens there rose such a clatter, Jesus Christ swiftly appeared saying, "look I've brought batter!"
So we raced to the kitchen to bake Santa a treat, while santa and jesus watched and had a seat.
Then the tributes were picked and started the bake off, only the good Lord will know what will happen if you start to cough...
Then from the corner i heard a harsh squeal- and I yelled at the top of my lungs, "AWWW SHIT JUST GOT REAL!"
Santa and Jesus peered on with a grin, if you can guess which one is real: you just might win
Jesus said, "Santa, how's the misses? I don't see her around here." Santa said, "She's getting her nails done... and waxing her rear."
With a look of astonishment and fingers laced around a spoon, He did not anticipate envisioning THAT full moon.
I went to the corner from which the squeal came, and found Jill with a mouse who was apparently lame.
She said, "Look at this mouse. Tragic, is it not?" Then Jesus came over and said, "Let me see what I've got."
With a wave of his finger and wink of his eye, that mouse began walking, and jumping real high!
Twas the last Wednesday before Christmas and all through the church, everybody came to a start with a lurch
...the hymns were chosen and well prepared, even the potluck was ready to be shared...
The decorations were hung around the altar with care, anticipation of Christ's birth was in the air.
As soon as the pastor was practicing the sermon, there were doubts all around that it wasn't in German
"What will we do?" asked the choir with fear... Pastor said, "Leave it to me and go have a beer."
When what to our wondering eyes should appear! two plates of cookies, mixed nuts, and some beer!
We gobbled them up and drank them all down, not even the curmudgeons were faced with a frown
When out came Santa with a stern look on his face, and said "why is there a mess all over this place?!"
"I came here looking for cookies but indeed have found none, if you want presents for Christmas to the church basement you must run."
And down through the heavens there rose such a clatter, Jesus Christ swiftly appeared saying, "look I've brought batter!"
So we raced to the kitchen to bake Santa a treat, while santa and jesus watched and had a seat.
Then the tributes were picked and started the bake off, only the good Lord will know what will happen if you start to cough...
Then from the corner i heard a harsh squeal- and I yelled at the top of my lungs, "AWWW SHIT JUST GOT REAL!"
Santa and Jesus peered on with a grin, if you can guess which one is real: you just might win
Jesus said, "Santa, how's the misses? I don't see her around here." Santa said, "She's getting her nails done... and waxing her rear."
With a look of astonishment and fingers laced around a spoon, He did not anticipate envisioning THAT full moon.
I went to the corner from which the squeal came, and found Jill with a mouse who was apparently lame.
She said, "Look at this mouse. Tragic, is it not?" Then Jesus came over and said, "Let me see what I've got."
With a wave of his finger and wink of his eye, that mouse began walking, and jumping real high!
"Praise be to Jesus, who healed the mouse who was lame!" "For any of you, I'd do the very same."
It didn't take long to notice that the mouse had found swagger, even the dust bunnies were thinking he looked like Mick Jagger
Then down through the chimney, shimmying with care, Adam Levine and Maroon 5 were now there!
Then the tribute from Bethlehem: meek with a pretty face, whispered, “The cookies are ready, but first, let’s say grace.”
"Bless us lord Jesus, we don't want to be rude, but we baked so that we could offer Santa some food."
The the Adam Levine yelled, "Don't yet scatter! These treats are for all since Jesus brought us the batter."
With that proclamation the organ did chime, and the rest of Maroon 5 brought salt and a lime.
Then Jimmy Buffet sauntered in with free will, and they all began singing "Margaritaville."
Santa, Jesus, and the performers were happy, although not all the tributes seemed equally sappy
They knew it was nearly time to take their last breath in an annual celebration and fight to the death.
The tribute from Joppa said, "Do we have to do this?" Santa said, "Well, you could just kiss."
"Ewww" shouted the tribute from Judah, if I wanted to do that I would have prayed to Buddha
Jesus said, "lean in real close- i don't want to hear it, but make sure you leave a little space for the Holy Spirit."
The tribute from Hebron with wild exhilaration puckered up his lips in great anticipation
The tribute from Moab applied some lip balm while the tribute from Canaan read us a Psalm.
Then Jimmy Buffet yelled, "No this is wrong. Why don't you all just let me sing a song?"
Jesus pondered this moment and that invitation, it seems his purpose in life was for their justification
The tributes were saved by his body and blood, even Noah was jealous for he endured the flood
In the church that night a new decree had been made, Jesus brings a light that will never fade
The meaning of Christmas was suddenly clear- Salvation through Christ so that God would be near
The people rejoiced and began to tell their friends, it is a love so amazing that it never ends.
The cookies, the treats, they were all just fine, but at the heavenly banquet we're invited to dine.
So, come one, come all, and hear the tale, it's a journey so crunchy but never goes stale.
The story's for you, if you believe it or not, but Jesus will still love you... even if you're a snot.
Here ends our tale of the last Wednesday before Christmas. We hope you enjoyed it and we ask for your forgiveness.
It didn't take long to notice that the mouse had found swagger, even the dust bunnies were thinking he looked like Mick Jagger
Then down through the chimney, shimmying with care, Adam Levine and Maroon 5 were now there!
Then the tribute from Bethlehem: meek with a pretty face, whispered, “The cookies are ready, but first, let’s say grace.”
"Bless us lord Jesus, we don't want to be rude, but we baked so that we could offer Santa some food."
The the Adam Levine yelled, "Don't yet scatter! These treats are for all since Jesus brought us the batter."
With that proclamation the organ did chime, and the rest of Maroon 5 brought salt and a lime.
Then Jimmy Buffet sauntered in with free will, and they all began singing "Margaritaville."
Santa, Jesus, and the performers were happy, although not all the tributes seemed equally sappy
They knew it was nearly time to take their last breath in an annual celebration and fight to the death.
The tribute from Joppa said, "Do we have to do this?" Santa said, "Well, you could just kiss."
"Ewww" shouted the tribute from Judah, if I wanted to do that I would have prayed to Buddha
Jesus said, "lean in real close- i don't want to hear it, but make sure you leave a little space for the Holy Spirit."
The tribute from Hebron with wild exhilaration puckered up his lips in great anticipation
The tribute from Moab applied some lip balm while the tribute from Canaan read us a Psalm.
Then Jimmy Buffet yelled, "No this is wrong. Why don't you all just let me sing a song?"
Jesus pondered this moment and that invitation, it seems his purpose in life was for their justification
The tributes were saved by his body and blood, even Noah was jealous for he endured the flood
In the church that night a new decree had been made, Jesus brings a light that will never fade
The meaning of Christmas was suddenly clear- Salvation through Christ so that God would be near
The people rejoiced and began to tell their friends, it is a love so amazing that it never ends.
The cookies, the treats, they were all just fine, but at the heavenly banquet we're invited to dine.
So, come one, come all, and hear the tale, it's a journey so crunchy but never goes stale.
The story's for you, if you believe it or not, but Jesus will still love you... even if you're a snot.
Here ends our tale of the last Wednesday before Christmas. We hope you enjoyed it and we ask for your forgiveness.
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