Somedays, it is as simple as a Cheap Trick Song...

My adolescence has been plagued by this quotation from the 90's hit movie, 10 Things I Hate about You (or at least I think that was the teenie bopper movie that I developed too much love for...).

Somedays, it is as simple as a Cheap Trick Song...
I want you to want me...
I need you to need me...

This was/is the phrase that runs through my head when it comes to relationships. It is simplistic, to the point, and hits those raw emotions. I want you to want me. The phrase says it all, right?

Currently, amidst a relationship discernment moment, I realized that this hinging phrase for my life may be complete crap. I don't want you to want me...

I want me to want me
I need me to need me...

My role in the relationship, especially one trying to discern if it is a long term one, is not one of passivity but one about becoming fully present in who I am, so that I may be fully present with you. In seminarian geek speak, this is the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives: to be fully present to what God is doing in our lives that we may be unified in our differences. My wanting you to want me does not mean that I need to give up those fundamental building blocks of who I am. But, maybe, in relationship we can become more fully ourselves and fully present in the moment.

Ok, so maybe this phrase isn't complete crap because a person can be fully themselves and want someone to want them. However, I needed this reminder yesterday and today. I need to recognize my own passivity when it comes to new relationships and climb out of that to embrace authenticity.